July 14, 2009

She got staggering drunk tonight. I avoided arguing with her and she passed out fairly early. But around midnight, I heard her get up and a minute later, I hear a crash as she fell into our closet. I asked her what the fuck was she doing and she told me she couldn’t find her way upstairs to go to the bathroom. Our closet is across the room from the stairs to the bathroom, she wasn’t even close. I got up to try and help her stand up, but she got mad at me for offering and refused any assistance. When she finally made it to her feet, I was worried that she would take a tumble down the stairs. I watched her stagger toward the stairs, bouncing off the furniture and the wall and then shakily making her way up to the bathroom. By now, I had to go too, so I waited at the foot of the stairs for her to come down, in case she needed catching. Fortunately, she didn’t.

July 13, 2009

She came back from work drunk. No surprise there, but she started telling me soon after she got back that she wanted to go to Kohl’s and get a shirt. I realized that she had finished whatever she had bought and was anxious to get some more. I suggested going shopping on the way home from work tomorrow, since she had to drive right by it anyway and then she wouldn’t have to go back out. She seemed to agree and went up to take a shower.

When she got down from her shower, she was agitated and visibly upset. She said just listening to her parents and her aunt talk as she passed through had made her really upset about them. And now she just HAD to go to Kohl’s and ‘get a shirt’ for work. She got two shirts and a bottle. Had been out driving drunk. Came back and got plastered.

The kids and I were going to watch a DVD. We were going to watch Inkheart which stars Brendan Frasier, an actor my wife has a thing for, so I thought she would want to watch it. Instead she insisted that we watch Knowing, a movie I knew she wouldn’t be able to follow, as drunk as she was. She didn’t even try. She kept going out to her lounge, drinking and dialing. Occasionally, she would yell out to me that she just couldn’t do this any more. Or it would be some incomprehensible angry shouting at me that I couldn’t quite decipher. Finally she passed out. Of course, that meant the horrible hacking cough and thrashing around in bed, ripping the covers off my side, and lots of loud nose blowing. With the occasional angry muttering at me. Sleeping with her tonight was a joy. (Not!)

July 10, 2009

She only drank half a pint of vodka tonight. I guess she is trying to behave herself. She didn’t fight with me and she was only a little snippy with the kids. I guess I’ll take any improvement I can get. I just wish I thought she would maintain this trajectory. She never has before.

July 9, 2009

Another work night, another pint of cheap vodka. No arguments, no fights, just no wife and no partner and no friend, either. Just the drunk on the couch who doesn’t give a shit about me either.

July 8, 2009

My wife is drinking but pretty much behaving herself. She just got drunk and went to bed early. I guess I can’t complain to much…

July 7, 2009

Tonight was another drinking night. She was in her overcompensating manic mode, the one where, you know, it is okay to be drunk because I am out there handling things, taking care of stuff. Never mind that she is just being mean and argumentative and her thinking is bizarre and just so wrong about so many things. Fortunately, she kept things to a minor level and I was just able to ignore her without it causing a big fight. She did manage to embarrass our son in front of the kids from across the street. My wife doesn’t like the kid, and I don’t blame her, I suspect the kid is trouble, but standing in the front door and glaring at the kid and yelling at our son might not have been the best way to handle things.

Again, no real problems, just another night that my wife wasn’t there and her drunken alter ego was.

July 5, 2009

Another long day, with the booze flowing starting in the afternoon. My wife got pretty drunk. The only problem was when she insisted that I go upstairs to get her pillow. I climbed up to the attic and woke up my nephew again and found out that my wife’s pillow had already been taken downstairs. When I got down, it was sitting on the floor right next to my wife. I pointed it out to her and she then insisted that she never asked me to go up and get it for her. I decided to just agree with her, it was simply easier that way. She passed out soon after.

July 4, 2009

A drinking night up at my sister’s house. My wife got pretty hammered and was staggering drunk. I was afraid to let her climb the two flights of stairs to get to where we were sleeping, but she insisted. She made it in one piece, so I guess that was okay. We didn’t fight, so that was good, too.

July 3, 2009

A  night at my sister’s house and the booze flowed. I chose not to drink. My wife did not make the same choice, shocking. She got staggering stupid drunk. I doubt anyone else noticed it as much as I did, they were all pretty loaded themselves. It often seems like I am surrounded by drinkers and outright drunks and alcoholics. Is the whole world like this? My wife was getting snippy with me and the kids and later when she was passing out on the couch downstairs she kept getting mad at me when I tried to help her. Okay, I am done with this crap.

July 2, 2009

In spite of having to get up and travel the next morning, my wife came home drunk. Then she got mad at me for wanting to leave early the next morning, like it was some big surprise. Then she started trying to fight with me about missing her mother-daughter moment the night before. I had to point out that she could have been there if only she had been sober. She started to get madder at me, and I whipped out what was left of the pint she was working on and told her that was the problem right there and tossed the bottle in the basement deep sink. (unfortunately, it didn’t break and I forgot to empty it – she didn’t forget however.) Then I worked on packing for our trip up to see my sister and mother and my wife picked at everything I tried to do and argued with me over how I was packing, what I packed it in, and it was all pointless and stupid and she wouldn’t have said any of it if she weren’t drunk.

At this point I decided to go put the kids to bed and read to them for a bit. When I got back downstairs, she was in bed. I tried to read and she started to bitch at me. I told her I needed to read a little to make me sleepy and she said “Why don’t we just fuck?” I’ll admit, I did it, even though I had to get up early the next morning and wasn’t really ‘in the mood’ after stupid pointless squabbling with her for several hours prior to bedtime.