Double whammy. My mother is in serious denial about her alcoholism. This has led to a series of upsetting emails between my siblings and some disturbing phone calls, too. I spoke to my mother on the phone and she was seriously defensive and in denial about the seriousness and depth of her problem. She seems to believe that she is in control and taking care of herself. If that were true, none of this would be going on. Then, late in the evening, I found out that she had turned down a bed at the detox facility. It is a strictly voluntary program and without her cooperation, she is not going to get the help she needs. Since she is in denial, it doesn’t seem like she is going to do what she needs to. With that attitude, she is likely to find herself alone and unable to care for herself. I hope she turns herself around.
And, of course, my wife who knows all this is going on, came home drunk, again. At first it was tolerable. I sat through the half hour rant about her job, which was pretty normal except that because she was drunk it was more vehement then usual and less coherent. Then I found out about my mother refusing treatment and I tried to talk to my wife. She went off on a weird tangent about when my mother moved up to the north country. She was confused as to the timing and the history and when I tried to correct her, she got very angry. Her version of the history there sounded like she was making it up as she went along, all while drunk, with all the grasp of reality that a good drunk provides. I finally had to just tell her that I made a mistake trying to talk to her, sorry that I would try to confide in my wife, or expect to have her there for me to listen to my problems. That went over like a lead balloon and led to more tears and more angry words. I had to walk away from her. I went up and put the kids to bed and then went to bed myself rather then risk another confrontation.
