Comments for Aanohelp's Weblog http://aanohelp.wordpress.com Life With My Alcoholic Wife Tue, 03 Nov 2009 16:44:28 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 Comment on October 30, 2009 by good days « letters to my sober wife http://aanohelp.wordpress.com/2009/11/01/october-30-2009/#comment-286 good days « letters to my sober wife Tue, 03 Nov 2009 16:44:28 +0000 http://aanohelp.wordpress.com/?p=668#comment-286 [...] thoughts today are with aanohelp who seems to have reached his breaking point. I wish him luck even though I don’t know what a good outcome is. I may reach that point some [...] [...] thoughts today are with aanohelp who seems to have reached his breaking point. I wish him luck even though I don’t know what a good outcome is. I may reach that point some [...]

]]> Comment on October 30, 2009 by SM http://aanohelp.wordpress.com/2009/11/01/october-30-2009/#comment-285 SM Mon, 02 Nov 2009 14:40:21 +0000 http://aanohelp.wordpress.com/?p=668#comment-285 I hope that you find the strength to stay true to your word. From reading your posts over tim, it is clear that her actions are hurting your kids immensely, not to mention yourself. She is sick and you can not do anything about it. She must decide to change her life and there is nothing you can do to control the situation. It's so hard to accept that. I hope that your wife is able to face her disease and recover. But even more, I hope that you and your children will find the eace the sanity that you deserve. I hope that you find the strength to stay true to your word. From reading your posts over tim, it is clear that her actions are hurting your kids immensely, not to mention yourself. She is sick and you can not do anything about it. She must decide to change her life and there is nothing you can do to control the situation. It’s so hard to accept that. I hope that your wife is able to face her disease and recover. But even more, I hope that you and your children will find the eace the sanity that you deserve.

]]> Comment on October 20, 2009 by justcricky http://aanohelp.wordpress.com/2009/10/21/october-20-2009/#comment-283 justcricky Tue, 27 Oct 2009 12:14:26 +0000 http://aanohelp.wordpress.com/?p=661#comment-283 I've really had a hard time this week. I'll get to go out on my own next weekend. I don't want to stress about it, but that's what I do. Being on my own for 6 hours should be fun, but I'm stressed. I do love your bolg. I know it's very hard for you. I see you living in my husbands shoes, and I can see the pain. I wish it was easy, and I wish I could help. I'm just doing what I can for me everyday is a hard life. I hope this will be my first, and last rehab/recovery home. When I get emotional with you it's only, because I'm alone in recovery. My emotions are running wild. I'm a nurse (when sober) I like fixing others. Now I need to fix meself, and I don't know what to do. Thanks, for the blog! You are a wonderful person to give so freely. I want you to be able to end the blog, and start being a husband again. You shouldn't be an alcoholics husband. Just Cricky I’ve really had a hard time this week. I’ll get to go out on my own next weekend. I don’t want to stress about it, but that’s what I do. Being on my own for 6 hours should be fun, but I’m stressed. I do love your bolg. I know it’s very hard for you. I see you living in my husbands shoes, and I can see the pain. I wish it was easy, and I wish I could help. I’m just doing what I can for me everyday is a hard life. I hope this will be my first, and last rehab/recovery home. When I get emotional with you it’s only, because I’m alone in recovery. My emotions are running wild. I’m a nurse (when sober) I like fixing others. Now I need to fix meself, and I don’t know what to do. Thanks, for the blog! You are a wonderful person to give so freely. I want you to be able to end the blog, and start being a husband again. You shouldn’t be an alcoholics husband. Just Cricky

]]> Comment on October 16, 2009 by aanohelp http://aanohelp.wordpress.com/2009/10/17/october-16-2009/#comment-282 aanohelp Wed, 21 Oct 2009 22:44:04 +0000 http://aanohelp.wordpress.com/?p=657#comment-282 We have talked. But we both realize that this is something she has to take care of. I mean, we can support her, encourage her and help her, but she has to do the work. And she doesn't really want to. At least not enough to actually do it. We have talked. But we both realize that this is something she has to take care of. I mean, we can support her, encourage her and help her, but she has to do the work. And she doesn’t really want to. At least not enough to actually do it.

]]> Comment on October 16, 2009 by spouse22 http://aanohelp.wordpress.com/2009/10/17/october-16-2009/#comment-281 spouse22 Wed, 21 Oct 2009 02:57:13 +0000 http://aanohelp.wordpress.com/?p=657#comment-281 Have you ever talked to him about it? I've considered talking to family about my wife but have never figured out if it's a good idea or not. Have you ever talked to him about it? I’ve considered talking to family about my wife but have never figured out if it’s a good idea or not.

]]> Comment on About by aanohelp http://aanohelp.wordpress.com/about/#comment-280 aanohelp Sun, 18 Oct 2009 03:18:31 +0000 #comment-280 Again, I hope this helps you. Good luck to you and your family. By all means, link to my blog if you wish. Thanks for writing. Fare well. Again, I hope this helps you. Good luck to you and your family. By all means, link to my blog if you wish.

Thanks for writing. Fare well.

]]> Comment on October 13, 2009 by aanohelp http://aanohelp.wordpress.com/2009/10/14/october-13-2009/#comment-279 aanohelp Sun, 18 Oct 2009 03:15:21 +0000 http://aanohelp.wordpress.com/?p=653#comment-279 The first time I saw my future wife, I told the guy who pointed her out that she was one unhappy girl. She was sober, then. (We were at work.) Later, she was a happy drunk, at least at first. We were happy drunks together. Then about eight years ago, after we were married, after our kids were born, things began to go sour. I tried to start a business and it didn't work out well. It took me a long time to get another job in my field and then I got laid off. My wife's drinking became a lot more serious. Then we had the first night she really went psycho when she got drunk. Yelling and screaming at me, that she wanted me out of her life. That was seven years ago. A lot of bad times since then. We had to sell our house and move to another city where I had found a job. My wife hated it there and the drinking got progressively worse and she got more and more angry at me and mean to our children. Finally she told me that she wouldn't be able to drink like this if we moved back up north to her home town. So we sold all of our stuff and moved into her parents' basement. Amazingly, she could too drink in front of her family. Well, she actually guzzles her vodka in private, I never see her drink. But she does get drunk. A lot. That is my story, the short version. I hope my little story does help you and any others who find themselves in similar situations, from either side. Hang in there, never give up, and keep hoping for the future. The first time I saw my future wife, I told the guy who pointed her out that she was one unhappy girl. She was sober, then. (We were at work.) Later, she was a happy drunk, at least at first. We were happy drunks together. Then about eight years ago, after we were married, after our kids were born, things began to go sour. I tried to start a business and it didn’t work out well. It took me a long time to get another job in my field and then I got laid off. My wife’s drinking became a lot more serious. Then we had the first night she really went psycho when she got drunk. Yelling and screaming at me, that she wanted me out of her life. That was seven years ago. A lot of bad times since then.

We had to sell our house and move to another city where I had found a job. My wife hated it there and the drinking got progressively worse and she got more and more angry at me and mean to our children. Finally she told me that she wouldn’t be able to drink like this if we moved back up north to her home town. So we sold all of our stuff and moved into her parents’ basement. Amazingly, she could too drink in front of her family. Well, she actually guzzles her vodka in private, I never see her drink. But she does get drunk. A lot.

That is my story, the short version. I hope my little story does help you and any others who find themselves in similar situations, from either side. Hang in there, never give up, and keep hoping for the future.

]]> Comment on October 13, 2009 by justcricky http://aanohelp.wordpress.com/2009/10/14/october-13-2009/#comment-278 justcricky Sat, 17 Oct 2009 20:53:30 +0000 http://aanohelp.wordpress.com/?p=653#comment-278 When I drank at first I was still a semi-happy drunk. Over time my anger turned to her. She didn't do anything wrong. I projected my life on her, and would get angery when I felt she didn't make a good choice. When my husband, and daughters started to live like I wasn't home. Anger spilled from me. I was mad they were happy, and I couldn't be. I didn't talk to my husband all week. I txted him today. He is to the point, but as always he was nice. Helps get me stuff I need. It wasn't enough I needed more, but I know I can't right now. When I drank at first I was still a semi-happy drunk. Over time my anger turned to her. She didn’t do anything wrong. I projected my life on her, and would get angery when I felt she didn’t make a good choice. When my husband, and daughters started to live like I wasn’t home. Anger spilled from me. I was mad they were happy, and I couldn’t be. I didn’t talk to my husband all week. I txted him today. He is to the point, but as always he was nice. Helps get me stuff I need. It wasn’t enough I needed more, but I know I can’t right now.

]]> Comment on About by justcricky http://aanohelp.wordpress.com/about/#comment-277 justcricky Sat, 17 Oct 2009 20:08:55 +0000 #comment-277 I sat up all night reading. I have received more from you in one night. Then anything my family will do for me now. This is my first try at recovery. I want it to be my last. My heart goes out to you so much. The stuff you put in the blog could be my husband. Except I'm a day drinker, I hid my drinking, and he never saw me do it. I drank when he was working, or out of the house. I know he could tell, but if he didn't see maybe I could hide it. I drank almost every day. At first I drank to passout, I didn't want reality. When they started to get mad I only drank enough to maintain a numbness. Usually 1-2 pints over 16 hours. My drinking really slowed down last March. I would have 3-4 day nights a month, and maybe an all day drunk. From Aug to now only 4 times, and it wasn't stinking drunk. We were still working on our marriage until my last relaps. I already left the house for treatment. Day after that relaps. He wanted a divorce. In treatment you start to get better, and hope you never relaps. I never even got to relaps prevention. He sounds just like you. I see him in your blog. So tender, and nice to his wife. So hurt, and angry with his drunk bitch. I'm an angry drunk, just like your wife. When I was sober I was myself again, but I didn't have to drink to become the other me. Crashing down, not drinking, and stressing about it made me her somedays. I'm sure you see your wife, but if she didn't start drinking I'm sure she would still change back sober. She's not working on her problem. I hope for you, and the kids that she gets better. It kills me to see the look of shame on my daughters face. I didn't see it when I was drunk. I really see it now. I tried AA, and it helps, but I use it with my 12 step zenpodcast/website. Im sure my husbands happy I've never smoked! Uck! I just started my blog. JustCricky you can take a look. I'd like to put a link to your on it. I sat up all night reading. I have received more from you in one night. Then anything my family will do for me now. This is my first try at recovery. I want it to be my last. My heart goes out to you so much. The stuff you put in the blog could be my husband. Except I’m a day drinker, I hid my drinking, and he never saw me do it. I drank when he was working, or out of the house. I know he could tell, but if he didn’t see maybe I could hide it. I drank almost every day. At first I drank to passout, I didn’t want reality. When they started to get mad I only drank enough to maintain a numbness. Usually 1-2 pints over 16 hours. My drinking really slowed down last March. I would have 3-4 day nights a month, and maybe an all day drunk. From Aug to now only 4 times, and it wasn’t stinking drunk. We were still working on our marriage until my last relaps. I already left the house for treatment. Day after that relaps. He wanted a divorce. In treatment you start to get better, and hope you never relaps. I never even got to relaps prevention. He sounds just like you. I see him in your blog. So tender, and nice to his wife. So hurt, and angry with his drunk bitch. I’m an angry drunk, just like your wife. When I was sober I was myself again, but I didn’t have to drink to become the other me. Crashing down, not drinking, and stressing about it made me her somedays. I’m sure you see your wife, but if she didn’t start drinking I’m sure she would still change back sober. She’s not working on her problem. I hope for you, and the kids that she gets better. It kills me to see the look of shame on my daughters face. I didn’t see it when I was drunk. I really see it now. I tried AA, and it helps, but I use it with my 12 step zenpodcast/website. Im sure my husbands happy I’ve never smoked! Uck! I just started my blog. JustCricky you can take a look. I’d like to put a link to your on it.

]]> Comment on About by aanohelp http://aanohelp.wordpress.com/about/#comment-276 aanohelp Sat, 17 Oct 2009 14:51:23 +0000 #comment-276 I'm glad this helps you. I know it helps me to write about it, but at the same time, I think I spend to much time thinking about and dealing with my wife's drinking. I don't want to spend my life this way any more. I suspect that our time together is nearly over, I'm sure it is if she doesn't stop soon. I’m glad this helps you. I know it helps me to write about it, but at the same time, I think I spend to much time thinking about and dealing with my wife’s drinking. I don’t want to spend my life this way any more. I suspect that our time together is nearly over, I’m sure it is if she doesn’t stop soon.

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